As I mentioned in a previous post, I have a new job. I started work on Monday this week. The job is going well so far. I’m meeting the people in nearby offices and getting myself settled. I’ve only cried a couple of times about it in the past week, which is actually fewer than I expected.
Of course I have been in denial about the job for quite some time. Several aspects of it really hit home this week.
First, I really wish that I had been more proactive in pumping milk for Kenna all along. Now, reality hits that she is going to have to take bottles on occasion (more than I’m willing to admit - still) and sometimes we’re gonna need milk when we didn’t expect to need it. Right now, I only have 1 feeding worth of milk in the fridge for her. I already know that she’ll need that on Friday if not before then. It is just so much easier to feed her than to pump. If I could just bring her to all of my meetings we wouldn’t have this problem. The saving grace of the pumping and bottle feeding is that she doesn’t mind the bottle at all, which breaks my heart and makes me relieved at the same time. Read as: major fit of sobbing on my part.
She has gone to work with me everyday this week (not all day everyday – again fits of crying when I left her on my first day). She is a charmer and has caused me to meet people even more quickly than I probably would have without her. No one at the office seems to mind that she’s here with me this week. She will continue to go to work with me when my schedule allows. I just don’t think that college students want to see their teacher’s baby during class time.
Secondly, the nice neat little schedule that Michael and I had worked out for when I would be at the office, when he would be at work/teaching, and when we would have overlaps of schedule to require other childcare coverage was just a pie in the sky dream. From my very first day of work all of that was thrown out the window by the fact that several meetings that I’m required to attend were already planned – one of them during playdate time! The rest of them were during times that I planned to be watching the kids. So, our plan of having my aunt watch the kids one morning a week and Mike’s mom watch them one afternoon a week is just not working out.
This is what has caused the most recent bouts of crying. It is so hard to come to grips with leaving the kids with someone else. We’ve decided on an in-home childcare provider. All of the kids she watches currently have been with her since they were born (2.5 year old twins, 15 month old, 6 year old). This speaks well of her. The only reason she has an opening for our two girls is because she was watching another set of twins that started kindergarten and no longer need her services. Morgan stayed with her for about an hour today just to see how things would go. Morgan had fun playing with the toys. I’m not sure how much she interacted with the other kids there. We’re only paying for part-time care for them; so, they will only be with the woman a maximum of 5 hours on any one day. We don’t expect to take them there 5 days a week, but we do have that option since we have to pay for the full week if we take them or not.
Some other reality checks about the job are actually a good ones. I knew I would like the work, but I am reminded about how much I like going to work and having adults to talk with (I've not worked since the end of September). There is one other person at my office that has a year old baby and others who have children. I’ve enjoyed talking with them about our children, but it is also nice to talk with my colleagues about other topics and to contribute professionally again. All of this doesn’t make it easier to leave the girls, but it does make it bearable and even enjoyable while I’m there.
Some other good news is that my insurance and paychecks start on January 15th! Yipee that's a great perk. I started work this week and will get paid on Monday.
The last perk of starting work is the exercise I'm getting. My office is .5 mile from my house. So, by walking to work and home at least once a day that's a mile of exercise on hills. Plus, I'm usually carrying Kenna or pushing the heavy double stroller while carrying my backpack full of books, snacks, and water. This should help the overly shapely body of mine get back to a more normal shape and back into my pre-pregnancy clothes at some point sooner than if I didn't have to go to work.
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