Is because I really love my work. I do love my job at EKU. I also completely enjoy working at Mike's Hike and Bike. When I work, I really want to give full effort and energy to my work. It is very frustrating to me that I can not do that because I have those two cute babies that need and want their momma.
Sometimes I just wish they didn't need their momma so much so I could focus and complete some other tasks. I know this is selfish, but heck I'm human and I am selfish. I just want time to do my own thing and be who I want to be without being relegated to taking care of the whims and needs of a 2-year-old and 7 month-old. Sometimes it's the little one that drives me crazy by being too demanding and sometimes it's the older one.
I think this is just the struggle that many working women feel. We love our kids and want to be with them, and at the same time we love/like our work and feel important there. I guess I'm just not cut out for this full-time split personality thing. I have a really hard time not resenting the job for taking me away from my kids and my kids from taking me away from my work. I'm hoping to eventually be able to convince my supervisors at EKU that I deserve to work part-time, but with benefits. I'm not so sure they're ever going to go for it, but I have to keep hoping that I will be able to have some work that I enjoy (and gives benefits that we need) and have plenty of time with my kids to home school and just in general be a part of their lives.
I can really tell a big difference in my relationship with Morgan since I'm not working this summer (I've been to the office several times already, and to the store at least a couple of days per week). I feel much more connected with her and can avert major tantrums and meltdowns just by knowing what is causing the problem. Of course, sometimes I don't know the problem, or I am busy trying to keep Kenna from eating the power cord to the fan, or I'm just so darn tired of averting the meltdowns that I can't avert the issue with Morgan, but I definitely feel much more connected and like we're back in sync again.
I'm so not looking forward to going back to work full time in the fall.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Going to the Zoo
As I mentioned in an earlier post, Morgan is becoming quite adept at pretending. Earlier today, we pretended to drink the bath water, for example. We pretend quite a few things daily.
This evening she was talking to her Dad about the raisins that she needed to feed her animals at the zoo. We talked about what animals she will feed the raisin to and then she suggested that we actually go to the zoo. So, while I'm prepping my "I'm making plans and we'll be going to the zoo next week" speech, her dad immediately says "Let's get in the car and you drive us to the zoo, Morgan."
To which her reply was "No Daddy, we need the van." So, we changed how we were sitting on the chaise lounge (now it is a van).
She drove us to the zoo, told us what we were seeing as we went. We saw koala bears eating eucalyptus leaves, giraffes with 7 bones in their necks, turtles with hard shells (as opposed to the ones with soft shells), dolphins, monkeys - who eat raisins, as well as others that my Pear Cider brain can't think of at the moment. Sometimes we were the animals, sometimes, she was the animal.
She drove us between each animal area and asked us where we wanted to go/what we wanted to see next. When we told her we were tired and hungry, she said she'd drive us to the aquarium to eat "chicken fries." All in all it was a great fun-filled evening of "going to the zoo."
I was already planning on taking her soon; now I really have to get moving on that plan. We're members so it really only costs gas money to get there. Last year we used the heck out of our membership. We only have to go two times for it to be "worth it." We went to the Louisville zoo at least 4 times, and the Cincinnati Zoo at least 3 times (half off there). So, we for sure got our money's worth out of it. I think we'll probably go every couple of weeks this summer. It is a nice long day of interesting stuff for her to do.
She has been watching some National Geographic video that we got from Mike's sister Laura. She loves it - maybe we should get a membership at the Aquarium as well. Anyway, the video talks about the difference between fish and dolphins/whales. It discusses humans and dolphins being mammals and that fish aren't mammals. Morgan is really trying to figure this mammal/human thing out. Several times a day she talks about that she is a human and that she is a mammal. She knows that dolphins and whales are mammals, but she is still a little confused about the other animals in her life. She's not convinced that Hyena and Lester are mammals - she knows they're animals. She's just not convinced that they are mammals, but not humans.
Really, even though at times I just want to wring her neck (she is 2 and a half, you know) I really enjoy being with her and watching her explore her world. OK, I don't necessarily enjoy watching her explore her world by testing my limits and biting her sister, but in general I do enjoy her.
This evening she was talking to her Dad about the raisins that she needed to feed her animals at the zoo. We talked about what animals she will feed the raisin to and then she suggested that we actually go to the zoo. So, while I'm prepping my "I'm making plans and we'll be going to the zoo next week" speech, her dad immediately says "Let's get in the car and you drive us to the zoo, Morgan."
To which her reply was "No Daddy, we need the van." So, we changed how we were sitting on the chaise lounge (now it is a van).
She drove us to the zoo, told us what we were seeing as we went. We saw koala bears eating eucalyptus leaves, giraffes with 7 bones in their necks, turtles with hard shells (as opposed to the ones with soft shells), dolphins, monkeys - who eat raisins, as well as others that my Pear Cider brain can't think of at the moment. Sometimes we were the animals, sometimes, she was the animal.
She drove us between each animal area and asked us where we wanted to go/what we wanted to see next. When we told her we were tired and hungry, she said she'd drive us to the aquarium to eat "chicken fries." All in all it was a great fun-filled evening of "going to the zoo."
I was already planning on taking her soon; now I really have to get moving on that plan. We're members so it really only costs gas money to get there. Last year we used the heck out of our membership. We only have to go two times for it to be "worth it." We went to the Louisville zoo at least 4 times, and the Cincinnati Zoo at least 3 times (half off there). So, we for sure got our money's worth out of it. I think we'll probably go every couple of weeks this summer. It is a nice long day of interesting stuff for her to do.
She has been watching some National Geographic video that we got from Mike's sister Laura. She loves it - maybe we should get a membership at the Aquarium as well. Anyway, the video talks about the difference between fish and dolphins/whales. It discusses humans and dolphins being mammals and that fish aren't mammals. Morgan is really trying to figure this mammal/human thing out. Several times a day she talks about that she is a human and that she is a mammal. She knows that dolphins and whales are mammals, but she is still a little confused about the other animals in her life. She's not convinced that Hyena and Lester are mammals - she knows they're animals. She's just not convinced that they are mammals, but not humans.
Really, even though at times I just want to wring her neck (she is 2 and a half, you know) I really enjoy being with her and watching her explore her world. OK, I don't necessarily enjoy watching her explore her world by testing my limits and biting her sister, but in general I do enjoy her.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Another New "Van"
Since opening the cycling store, we've decided to try to bike more frequently. We've taken the bikes and trailer so many places recently that it does seem like we've got a new van.
On Friday, I biked with the kids to the park, then went to Mike's mom's house to drop off Morgan while I went to work in the shop. Then of course, after work, I biked to go pick her up.
On Saturday, we took the bike on the first weekly Mike's Hike and Bike family ride. Then Mike took Morgan and dropped her off at his parent's house for the day while we worked at the store.
Sunday, we took the bikes and the trailer to the grocery store, then later to visit friends, and to Mike's parents house to get a bigger PFD for Morgan.
Today, no - we didn't take them to go canoing we can't carry the canoe on there, we took the bikes to a restaurant for dinner, then to the video store. I'm already noticing the difference in my ability to pull the trailer and in biking with just increading the amount I'm biking in the last week.
On Friday, I biked with the kids to the park, then went to Mike's mom's house to drop off Morgan while I went to work in the shop. Then of course, after work, I biked to go pick her up.
On Saturday, we took the bike on the first weekly Mike's Hike and Bike family ride. Then Mike took Morgan and dropped her off at his parent's house for the day while we worked at the store.
Sunday, we took the bikes and the trailer to the grocery store, then later to visit friends, and to Mike's parents house to get a bigger PFD for Morgan.
Today, no - we didn't take them to go canoing we can't carry the canoe on there, we took the bikes to a restaurant for dinner, then to the video store. I'm already noticing the difference in my ability to pull the trailer and in biking with just increading the amount I'm biking in the last week.
River Guides Again
Michael and I got to guide a trip down the Kentucky River today. It was a rather short jaunt – about 5 miles. I think we took our youngest patrons yet. Morgan, 2 and a half, took her first down river canoe trip. And Kenna, 7 months, took her first canoe trip ever. Speaking of firsts, it was our first trip down this section of river as well. We should have done it earlier.
The girls (and their guides) had a delightful day. The weather was perfect. We were on the river before the river became crowded. We did not have any mishaps.
Morgan had a great time leaning over the side of the canoe and running her hands in the water. While “on shore” she had a splendid time swimming. She really was proud of herself for moving so well in the water. We of course are delighted that she still likes it so much. She wasn’t too fond of the craw-dads (crayfish) that she saw in the creek. I think she preferred to think of it as her own little swimming pool – not where the animals live.
Kenna, after become more comfortable in her PFD (personal floatation device), enjoyed the trip. She slept for a good bit of it in my lap while I paddled. I wasn’t much help to Michael during the paddling today though, because she was in my lap the whole time. Because she’s still so small, when she sits with the PFD on, it is just a little longer than her torso; so, it lifts her chin up. That really makes her angry. As long as I was holding her, she was content to look around and watch her sister leaning out of the boat. At rest stops she enjoyed playing in the boat (a good “play pen”) and watching the rest of us swim. At the second stop, we went wading and she enjoyed the ride on Dad’s shoulders.
It really was a great day. A few more weekends like this one and we may just decide we can “get out” around here.
The girls (and their guides) had a delightful day. The weather was perfect. We were on the river before the river became crowded. We did not have any mishaps.
Morgan had a great time leaning over the side of the canoe and running her hands in the water. While “on shore” she had a splendid time swimming. She really was proud of herself for moving so well in the water. We of course are delighted that she still likes it so much. She wasn’t too fond of the craw-dads (crayfish) that she saw in the creek. I think she preferred to think of it as her own little swimming pool – not where the animals live.
Kenna, after become more comfortable in her PFD (personal floatation device), enjoyed the trip. She slept for a good bit of it in my lap while I paddled. I wasn’t much help to Michael during the paddling today though, because she was in my lap the whole time. Because she’s still so small, when she sits with the PFD on, it is just a little longer than her torso; so, it lifts her chin up. That really makes her angry. As long as I was holding her, she was content to look around and watch her sister leaning out of the boat. At rest stops she enjoyed playing in the boat (a good “play pen”) and watching the rest of us swim. At the second stop, we went wading and she enjoyed the ride on Dad’s shoulders.
It really was a great day. A few more weekends like this one and we may just decide we can “get out” around here.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Now Summer!
So many things are happening so quickly these days. First, I am off of work for the summer (sorta, I still have my own projects to work on). It turns out that I don’t have to reapply for my job; so, I’m going to work there next year as well But secondly, and more importantly, our store is now open!
Mike’s Hike and Bike opened last Wednesday. We had a great sales day on Saturday (6 new bikes, 1 used bike, and lots of accessories). I think the community was really ready for what we have to offer.
Now on to info about my darlin’ girls, Kenna has two bottom teeth now. She really likes pears and mixed vegetables – not so happy about bananas or avocado. She still doesn’t know how to crawl forward. I’m starting to feel bad for her because she always gets stuck in a corner and can’t get out; which causes lots of fussing.
Morgan is very “into” pretend right now. She can take absolutely any item and turn it into amazing things. She is becoming a polite little girl (as opposed to a toddler). She knows the name of the store, recognizes the logo, and will tell anyone what the store is called. Say “Mike’s Hike and Bike” as fast as you can, and that ‘bout sounds like what she says. :)
Mike’s Hike and Bike opened last Wednesday. We had a great sales day on Saturday (6 new bikes, 1 used bike, and lots of accessories). I think the community was really ready for what we have to offer.
Now on to info about my darlin’ girls, Kenna has two bottom teeth now. She really likes pears and mixed vegetables – not so happy about bananas or avocado. She still doesn’t know how to crawl forward. I’m starting to feel bad for her because she always gets stuck in a corner and can’t get out; which causes lots of fussing.
Morgan is very “into” pretend right now. She can take absolutely any item and turn it into amazing things. She is becoming a polite little girl (as opposed to a toddler). She knows the name of the store, recognizes the logo, and will tell anyone what the store is called. Say “Mike’s Hike and Bike” as fast as you can, and that ‘bout sounds like what she says. :)
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Long Time Gone
Ok, so it has been wwwwaaaaayyyyy too long since I've written here. There have been so manythings going on I don't even know where to start. Humm. The short of it is this:
1. We are opening a bicycle and hiking/camping gear store in Richmond. We will open in a couple of weeks; so, all of our spare time is spent at the store. I'm in charge of data entry and general bookkeeping. Michael is in charge of merchandise, store fixtures/layout, and generally getting the place ready to open.
2. I have only a couple of weeks left of work for this school year. I don't know if I'll be back next year or not yet since I have to reapply for my job and it has not been posted yet.
3. Kenna is sitting up, crawling backwards, and just all around being a cute baby.
4. Morgan is a great child. She is a very kind big sister (still), and she's lots of fun with her immagivitiave/pretend play that she has recently started. Morgan has gone on her first boyscout camping trip. She had a grand time.
Back to work now, and I hope to post more soon.
1. We are opening a bicycle and hiking/camping gear store in Richmond. We will open in a couple of weeks; so, all of our spare time is spent at the store. I'm in charge of data entry and general bookkeeping. Michael is in charge of merchandise, store fixtures/layout, and generally getting the place ready to open.
2. I have only a couple of weeks left of work for this school year. I don't know if I'll be back next year or not yet since I have to reapply for my job and it has not been posted yet.
3. Kenna is sitting up, crawling backwards, and just all around being a cute baby.
4. Morgan is a great child. She is a very kind big sister (still), and she's lots of fun with her immagivitiave/pretend play that she has recently started. Morgan has gone on her first boyscout camping trip. She had a grand time.
Back to work now, and I hope to post more soon.
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